Thomas Merton and Mr. Rogers

By Cameron Warne
 
Sometimes a quote, a piece of art, or a new idea sends me down a theological bunny trail. I have to admit that it’s usually the ones that are controversial and slightly heretical that catch my interest and ultimately force me to grow the most. What’s the truth here? What have I been taught my whole life? What do I really believe? What are the implications?
 
One that I’ve been chewing on recently are words by the writer, monk and activist Thomas Merton:
 
“His love is unpossessive.
His love is pure because it needs nothing.”
 
I have always thought that when we become citizens of God’s Kingdom, we are essentially “possessed” or “owned” by God. The apostle Paul often uses the language “slave of God” and he references the Christian being branded with a “seal of ownership” (2 Corinthians 1:22). Even when God tells us not to fear, he adds the clause, “You are mine” (Isaiah 43:1). So, is what Merton is saying true?
 
And what about Merton’s second sentence: “His love is pure because it needs nothing”?
I know that I need God but I’d also like to think that God needs me. It’s a two-way street.  After all, “How shall others believe in him of whom they have not heard? How shall they hear without a preacher?” (Romans 10:14). I, too, want to own God…
 
And these questions lead to a million more questions: What about the gift of free will? What is the nature of freedom and grace? Is God really a slaveholder?  A jealous boyfriend? Are we capable of a pure love when we like to be needed?
                            
Calm down, Cameron.
 
Mr. Rogers Saves the Day
For the past couple years, the program we’ve watched the most with our daughters is the Mister Rogers opera, “A Star for Kitty.” It tells the story of a Kitty (Betty Aberlin) who wishes for a star of her own for her birthday. The star she chooses is “Tiny Star” (played by puppet Daniel Tiger) and she tries to take “Tiny Star”. With the help of “half moons,” Kitty learns that “Tiny Star” needs to stay at his home in the sky. As Kitty relinquishes her control of “Tiny Star,” she begins to shine like a star herself and has a wonderful birthday.
 
It’s what Mr. Rogers says at the end that is so striking and wise. Near tears, he says:
 
“When Kitty started to care about what 'Tiny Star' was feeling, that’s when she started to twinkle. And then she realized that nobody could own a star, just like nobody can own anybody else. Nobody owns you and nobody owns me. But people can care about us, just the way we are. And we can help each other to feel at home, no matter where we are.”
 
Mr. Rogers’ last two sentences showed me what I had missed from Merton’s quote: His love is pure. Mr. Rogers calls it "care" - loving people as they are and where they are. Making them feel at home. Unpossessing.
 
We see this most clearly in the life of Jesus when Mary breaks numerous social norms by pouring expensive perfume on Jesus’ feet (wiping them with her hair) while He is reclining at a table with His male friends (John 12: 1-8). He takes her on her terms and freely accepts her gift of open, unorthodox worship. He makes her feel at home by sticking up for her when her gift is questioned (verse 7). He doesn’t need the worship, but accepts it freely. Her only need is to be herself.
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Mr. Roger’s speaking begins at 5:06
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8hho4